Peacock in the parking lot

And journey to the visual heart of my life. Making sense,humor, and misery out of a self positionality of race,sexuality, and immigration and of course, fashion. I own nothing of any of these pictures

Complete

Dear C,

I am okay now. Finally, I can say that I am okay now.

You are gone, and have been gone for four years, and I am okay with it now.

No human being hurt me quite like you did. No name really moved me like yours has.

Forget the fact that it has taken years, tears and many trips around the globe to try and forget you. It has finally happened.

I am free.

You are free.

Thank you for being my first love. It really had to be you, you to love me, you to break me and you to take that special space in my heart.

I will always remember you. You will always be the boy who I loved, and the man who could not love me.

I am who I am, and that was not enough for you, but it is enough for me.

It took me four years to learn that it was about me.

I love you and loved you and shall love you.

Always the question haunted me, if ever you cared for me. I know you did not not love me, but did you like me? Did you care for me? Do you? Can you?

Was there ever a time when you wanted to come to me and let me know that I was special to you?

After all these years I guess not. Your actions have always been consistent- you did not care for me. Not at all. I felt that I was just a thing for you. I was a piece of wood, a penny, a ceramic spoon in your hands.

You did not and do not care for me.

That still does not change the fact that I cared for you.

I am free of that cage.

You are and always will be the one I loved,

Its all ok now.

Love you,

P

If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change.

Jack Kornfield (via shaktilover)

lelaid:

Claudia, Nadja, Stephanie, Linda, Naomi, Saskia, Tao, Malgosia, Mariacarla, Natasha, Carolyn, Eva, Guinevere, Karen, & Maggie by Daniele + Iango for Vogue Japan, September 2014

(via lalinda-evangelista)